How to have your own back

We have all heard this before, “What would you do if you were not afraid?” Me? A ton of shit. But what would help me feel like I wasn’t so afraid – having SUPPORT and feeling like someone had my back.

Your First “No”

I almost cried in a session. I sat there listening to my client tell me how she said “no”. Her first “no”. This was the beginning of her confidence and trust building with herself. She could withstand the uncomfortableness and stand up for herself. Hallelujah

7 Types of (Unnecessary) Apologies

People pleasers are creative. They come up with all types of ways to say “I’m sorry.” They are so used to saying it that it just automatically shows up in their everyday interactions. I recently counted all the times and the different ways I brought in that dreaded “I’m sorry” into convos. You’d be amazed.

Outer Compliance, Inner Defiance

People pleasers don’t like anger. At least that is what they believe. Anger is both uncomfortable and it separates us from others. Something pleasers can’t tolerate. But what are we supposed to do when we feel anger? Because we will. We can’t escape it.

Decision Making for People Pleasers

Decisions are way more challenging than I want them to be. Why? My typical play in life is to make sure there is little conflict with people. So not only do I worry how my decision will affect others, but I doubt my ability to even get the words out.

How to trust yourself

The feeling of trust is personal. We feel safe and relaxed around people we trust. But the experience of trust isn’t something we know intellectually. Its a felt sense. How do we learn to trust first ourselves, then others?

The 8 Cs – qualities of Strength, Stability and Resilience

In Internal Family Systems there is a concept called Self Energy. It’s a quality we all have and yet we lose access to it through our normal daily reactivities.  Self-Energy is basically a quality that allows us to feel like we know ourselves, our patterns, our blind-spots and our strengths. I like to call it True Self or even WiseContinue reading “The 8 Cs – qualities of Strength, Stability and Resilience”