Internal Family Systems
That picture up there?
It’s your mind.
Everyday, all the time,
there is a business meeting
going on inside you.
It’s the “business” of how to run your life.
Every thought, emotion, decision and action is decided by this group.
So who, exactly, is sitting at the table?
The PARTS of your personality!
Does that sound a little weird?
I promise you, it’s not.
It’s normal and natural to use the term “parts” when you talk
to yourself and others.
Ever said something like this?
“I hate this job! Part of me wishes I could just move to Costa Rica
and live on the beach!”
And right after that you hear another voice say,
“Like that would ever work? I hate sand and I still have Season 3 of Ted Lasso to watch! Plus…bills.”
When two parts are debating how to get out of a tough situation we feel a push-pull inside. We can lose countless hours churning, going back and forth about how to find relief and we end up feeling stuck, confused and powerless.
The thing about parts is…
They are only trying to help us tone down any uncomfortable feelings we have when it comes to job stress, health challenges, relationship struggles, boundary setting (hello people pleasers!), changing a well-worn habit, start an exercise program – anything we believe will make us feel different. And by “different” I mean “better”.
It’s that simple.
Parts have a mission: control and manage as much as possible in order to feel competent, confident, successful, good enough and happy.
This happens ALL THE TIME under the surface without us realizing it.
IFS brings the inner meeting to our awareness so we can we make changes that stick because they are from the INSIDE OUT.
Stuck in a tough decision right now?
I know a way to change that!
No More Back and Forth
Decision-making made easy with IFS!
You don’t have to feel at the mercy of
your thoughts and emotions anymore.
With IFS you get a back stage pass to
what’s happening BEHIND the scenes.
You might think you know yourself,
but IFS will take that knowing to an entirely new level.
You can move from feeling overtaken by anxiety
to knowing where it comes from,
how to talk to yourself when you feel anxious
and most importantly the wisdom that
you are NOT your anxiety.
It’s a PART of you.
Here’s my straight up, no bull-shit, lay-it-on-the-line
take on stepping into the world of IFS.
IFS and “parts work” asks you to put on your spiritual snorkel mask and look below the surface of your experiences. Most of us spend our time and energy reacting to what’s going on out there. IFS has you make a u-turn and get to know what is going on inside.
We, as humans, have been programmed to avoid anything unpleasant. Parts have taken this very seriously. They have used what was available to us, mostly when we were kids and just trying to stay safe and connected to our family, to figure out ways to work the system and hope like hell we don’t feel so bad.
We have parts that Manage and Protect us by being a people pleaser or a perfectionist or a super organized plan-every-minute-so-I-feel-more-in-control type person.
Internal Family Systems helps you stop identifying with what you do out there to and starts helping you work with what goes on in here (I’m pointing to my body, my inner world.)
Let’s keep going with HOW parts have been “helping” us.
The ways parts have been protecting us are often outdated, extreme or intense.
And while we are grateful for their dedication to their jobs, we need to update our way of doing things.
Internal Family Systems work is a little bit like dismantling what our parts have spent a long time building to keep us safe. Which is what makes IFS work life changing. It can truly shift how you see yourself and the world. Like, you won’t be able to unsee it now.
Parts work helps you separate from your thoughts, behaviors, feelings and emotions so you can see them clearly, kinda like mindfulness. Oh, but wait! It sneakily weaves in self-kindness all along the way. (Self Energy)
Ahhh, thanks IFS. I needed that!
So, it’s rearranging, untangling and deprogramming you from the inside out, but only with YOUR permission every step of the way.
That is what makes IFS so impactful – HOW it rearranges stuff.
IFS respects the speed at which your parts can handle change.
IFS offers collaboration with parts so you stop pushing yourself to be different.
IFS allows you to gradually get used to new ways of being.
That’s the reason this work is so, sorry this is corny but very true, powerful.
You can actually change things you have done forever and not freak yourself out in the process